Ive only had 3 hours of sleep last night, have done a spin class, been to the postoffice in town, and basketball training... Im wide awake... and I think I know why...

Ive got too many things going through this head of mine..

On the top of that list, someone... Ive said my good-byes but yet, each time I see the email saying, "It's any time now..." I feel my heart stop beating for that one second... How do you prepare yourself for the inevitable, how do you prepare your emotions and heart knowing what is coming... or the lack of it... I wanna let it all out, but I always seem to find myself staring into space, that last few moments I had, playing over and over again like a broken projector... I would give anything in the world to be there.. and being this far away somehow makes it harder.. Im always away.. Im never there... How do you let go... someone, anyone...???

Spoke to my Mom and Dad about an important decision I have to make.. and Im not sure if Im making the right choice... my heart saying Im not, but my brain is saying I am..

Do I go with the heart or the brain....???

I just hope I'll keep it together when the time actually comes... I cant start to imagine what it'll be like...
and I dont want to start....

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I wanna blog, but there is nothing to blog about.. how mundane can my life be.. just like clock-work.. Uni, gym, gym, more gym, grocery shopping.. blah blah blah... boring... hahah

I've got a big decision to make and I think I've finally made up my mind..

But is it the right choice?

Guess only time will tell...

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Another one bites the dust

Such a disappointing show tonight on X Factor... Miss Frank and Danyl Johnson, both in the bottom 2.. I mean comm'on~!!!

These 2 had to have a sing off...

while the Horror Twins live to see another week with "She Bangs" !! Even William Hung's version was far more entertaining...

I thought Jamie's "Angel of Harlem" was amazing, even though it wasnt exactly a Big Bang song..

Oh god good... it was a nail biting episode tonight... I really didn want Danyl to leave.. He's my fav to win.. Miss Frank were amazing last night.. Everyone were exact the Vampire Twins.. they are entertaining, but cant sing a single note.. not one..

Got to see Michael Bublé perfom as well.. have always been a fan plus his new album is out... might just swing by the shops tmr and get it.. (:

Westlife performed a Chris Daughtry song.. still preferred the orginal version.. I like Westlife and all but.... singing Daughtry songs... thats pushing it a little dont you think...

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SSSS @ Kokuryo

We had an overwhelming response to the society's first ever dinner.. good and bad cos due to the large number, we had to squeeze and boy did we squeeze... the ppl working there had to hunt high and low for chairs haha cos they were short of chairs, but we managed eventually... it was definitely a cosy dinner haha.. rubbing shoulders with one another hahah...






Right I must say that I stole them pictures from FB hahaha... (:

Big Band night on X Factor and it was A-W-E-S-O-M-E~!! to say the least haha.. some acts were down right horrible but the majority of them were amazing.. you'll see why when you watch the acts.. trust me...

the wind is howling tonight.. like its on some sort of mission.. and I cant stop playing James Morrison's version of "Man in the Mirror"... it has been on repeat the whole day.. go listen to it..

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Thought my dad would like this one haha...

This is how I was feeling when the clock striked 5pm in labs today... didn quite happen though.. only manage to leave an hour later... thought I would have th energy to go for International night.. but was stuggling to keep my eyes opened at 8~!! Im getting old.. crikey...

This explains a lot...






At a cross-road.. which road do I take??

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This made me laugh so much..


and to think I use to change at least 10 yucky baby diapers a day hahaha....

Poor daddys ard the world haha (:

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I could do with this now....

reading ... reading... looking... researching.... journals after journals... my tummy is rumbling.. and Im starting to miss things... Im missing this...

and definitely missing this loads.....


and this...

then again.. Im also missing this....

and the ppl who I lived with here...

and definitely the person I lived with for that 5 months...

and missing this little island....


.....think Im a little homesick

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Took a trip with D&A and Alistair yesterday up to Loch Ness.. We stopped by along the way... Bonnie Banks of Loch Lomond, Scotland's most famous valley, Glencoe and our destination, Loch Ness, which is home to the larest volume of water in Scotland, well of course how can we forget our dear friend Nessie... (:


This is us at the start of the journey.. was a very foggy morning.. couldn see much which was a shame..

Loch Lomond in all its glory...






Some loch we stopped at along the way which had the calmest of all waters... you can see the mirror reflection on the water...









The famous Loch Ness.. nothing much really haah... took a ferry ride up and down.. so at least I can not say.. Ive been to the highlands.. been to Loch Ness, breathed in the air and touched the water.. didn quite see Nessie, she was still hiding.. (:




Monument in memory of the commandos that trained on that land




All in all, I totall enjoyed myself.. have to thank D&A for organising it.. Made it home in time to watch the remaining acts perform in X Factor haha.. you just knew that was gonna come didn you.. hahah results show tonight.. ooo cant wait.. got to get the kettle on, make me some dinner before it starts...

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It is~! haha

Which only means one thing...... It's gonna be Saturday tmr, and we all know what Saturday mean.... X FACTOR~! hahaha.. Im such a fan but alas.. will be away on a day trip wit D & A and the brother.. which only means I'll have to watch the episode either on youtube or something.. sobz... no matter... Im sure I'll find it somewhere on the net..

I really like the saying at the back of this truck...
Was talking to another friend today and he mentioned how home-sick he felt even though this is his 4th year away.. Time sure has flown by for me too.. this being my 6th year... Yes 6th year.. If only I will be graduating with a medical degree haha.. wishful thinking.. I must say, with all my travels at the beginning of this year.. I find time passing quite slowly at the moment.. only thing that Im really looking forward to is graduation, which wont happen till the end of june... drats..

Now this.. on the other hand hahah... take a minute to think about it (:



I had a very interesting (childish) conversation with my parents the other day.. haha.. tables have definitely turned eh haha.. so if they are reading this, which I know they will, Mummy, can you please give me the recipe for claypot rice without the claypot, made in a rice cooker??

Or is this a secret as well???? (:

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I didn't realise my last post would worry so many of my friends.. I do apologise. SHu, I would have replied you but my phone is down ):

I guess I get affected by what my friends go through, every heart break, feeling lonely, betrayed, happy, excited, I, honest to god, cross my heart, share that feeling if they do tell me about it.. I guess, just one too many ppl were not feeling themselves lately, a series of events maybe, feeling isolated, not knowing what they want or how they got to where they are..

Have....

Dont...

Smile... it'll make you feel better... honest truth.. I smile all the time and it works, well with the help of fmylife.com sometimes haha...

Life is a roller-coaster (cliche cliche), life is a highway, life is a rock, life is a dream or life is just a show... whatever life is to you, take it with a pinch, a handful or even a whole shaker of salt..

Lots of hugs & kisses,

Leslie x♥x♥

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I know I should be sleeping now, afterall its already 2am in the morning and Ive got to be up, oh let's see, in about 5 hours or so.. but I just cant shake this niggling feeling...

Met up with the girls from, well cant say class now as half of them decided to graduate in 3rd year, so ex-classmates... and Kim's who just got attached was as happy as a beaver.. she use to be the one who has been single for the longest time (guess Ive taken over that position now), looked so happy when asked about her new man...

But when I got home, I spoke to someone who I've not spoken to in a while (a week of not speaking to my friends is considered a while, by my definition that is) and she was telling me news that, well firstly shocked me, but yet again, did not surprise me, not one bit.. I just experienced two kinds of emotions in one night that are miles apart, chalk and cheese, then I start to wonder, where am I placed in that spectrum.. and it kinda saddened me a bit to think, Im actually am right on the other side of that.. the bad side that is.. how numb I have become, how thick and high Ive built my wall, how oblivious I am to anyone else, how far and fast I run in the opposite direction..

Well, I must admit, something did trigger this, this old feeling that I once felt.. it all began, when my phone went for a swim, yup you heard me right... long story short, phone fell out of pocket and into a pail of water...So... searched high and low for an old phone and found one, one that I was using about a year ago. Being born in the year of the rat, Im a very sentimental person, aka, I keep everything that has sentimental meaning to me, good bad, I keep them. So one thing lead to another, I found 'memories' on this phone, memories that I had erased from my mind and never did want to get reminded of again, but it did... and it sent this aching feeling.. I always tell my friends.. they say that when you pay back karma, you pay it back in ten folds.. and I reckon, I still am.. paying back that is..

To be honest, Im kinda lost for words right now.. haha guess thats the end of the story.. haha.. anyway.. found this website that had these poster/bumper sticker whatever you wanna call it.. some hit a nerve, some were just plain silly, others were just a laugh.. you get the idea






These were a few that caught my attention and would just like to share with other people.. well when I say other people, my friends in general, who are the only 'people' who I know will be reading this..



on a side note: Dear Aunite Agnes, if you read this, tell Por Por that Ive been thinking of her. Mom said that she was very alert when they were over and was enjoying her ice-cream very much. Send my love to the family. Missing each and every one of you very much.. xox ♥

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No. 5

Its all about the magic number 5 today... in the gym that is.. (:

5km on the rowing machine

5km on the cross-trainer (which took forever to complete I might add)

5km on the bike

5km on the treadmill

5 x 10 x 2 crunches


phowoahhh~! Feeling amazing right now... walked back with legs that felt like lead and a pair of shorts that were soaked with sweat, but feeling great~!!

I do apologise for the lack of updates last week.. to be honest, I've hardly anything to update. Been quite busy the last week... Had classes on Tuesday, in labs all day Wednesday, full day at the gym on Thursday (spin, circuits and bball), and Friday was not spared at all, a swim in the morning, meetings in the afternoon and Interns @ Strath presentation in the evening.....

Well more about the presentation night... Jaimie helped me with my poster which I absolutely love (but didn win a prize, Im afraid).. Everyone on the programme had their poster up on display for staff members and other interns to have a read... Here's mine (:



Got a chance to meet the Principal of the Uni... haha now thats a rare honour.. He remembered reading my paper and was asking me questions about my study.. felt like a proud mother talking about my pride and joy hahah...

X Factor Results show is on tonight~!! Well excited about it haha.. Thats what I look forward to on my weekend.. sad but true.. But you got to love it..

chants: danyl johnson to win danyl johnson to win danyl johnson to win danyl johnson to win... (:

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