Memory... is the diary that we all carry about with us.....
Memories... You create new memories each and everyday.. Be it good or bad.. well why would u wanna keep bad memories.. but I guess thats just how the human mind works.. It stores memories you wanna keep and even those you try so hard to forget.. I hold onto some memories oh so dearly.. memories with my loved one, my family and my friends.. trying to forget bad memories from the past...
But that said.. they do have a habit of creeping up and bitting you in the butt when you least expect it to.. Ive been told Ive got a selective memory.. again in both a good and bad way.. but recently Ive been having a lot of re-occuring dreams that come from memory.. things that Ive not thought of in a long while.. issues, memories which I thought I have locked away at the back of my head never to surface again but guess the body do play tricks on you once in a while... Im just so tired and frustrated with myself for feeling the way I feel.. I created those memories and I should be able to get rid of them.. but it has proven to be so much harder than I have ever anticipated... is it cause I am just a weak person? or my mind is just too stubborn, wanting to hold on to those memories for keepsake...
When people keep memories, some people choose to keep bad memories.. I tend to remember people with happy faces on them.. well picture this... slow motion laugh (: thats the mental picture I have of everyone I know.. weird ya.. been told that so many times.. even in my memories thats how people are portrayed to me..
Whatever that is making me feel the way Ive been feeling.. I really want it to go away.. maybe Im just homesick, or in need of a good cry.. whatever it is I just want it to go away.. I feel tired all the time, even when Im asleep, my mind doesnt seem to be, waking up feeling exhauted like Ive not slept a wink.. cant seem to be able to concentrate long enough to get anything done.. arghhh frustration, annoyed that I cant even do my first lab report for uni properly and am already struggling to complete it.. that's not me... its just not...
Best I can do is make people around me happy.. when I see my friends happy.. I feel a sense of joy that I've made them happy.. (: I wouldn trade that for anything... I would do anything for the ppl around me, family included, for they have done so much for me..
Im just an emo slob tonight for god knows what reason.. just needed an oulet...
miss you guys ♥
