Organised a small farewell dinner for Kenneth and Gareth, Kenneth should have arrive back in Singapore by now and Gareth will be heading back in a couple of days too after his small trip to Sweden.. They came, they saw, they kinda studied, they experienced the Scottish way of life and now they are heading home..

Right... yesterday was a long day.. well it did seem to be haha.. spent the day reading my psychology book which I bought, so technically I was reading a book. Haha sounds foreign to me but ya.. Research for my last report arghhh which I so wanna get it done and out of the way. Anyways, met Damus, Angel and Gareth at abt 4 and took a taxi down to this other chinese supermarket - See Wu, which I had no idea where it was haha but it was huge~!!!

Bumped into an old friend of Auntie Liz haha... when ever I see 'him' I always think of you.. hehe "durian eating machine" (:

Pork butt... Pig's butt??? a swine's ass??? same thing?? haha... hmmm


We were walking throug "See Wu" - the supermarket, for ages thinking of what to cook for dinner that night... all we had was eggplant and toufu... a little bit else here, a little bit more added there, ended up with too much food as usual haha...~!!!

Char siew, Lemon chicken, Eggplant in some spicy sauce, vege with mince, tao you bak (improvised the recipe mom gave me), mao po tofu, and steam egg haha.. too much food in the end...

And that's not all~!! haha.. After spending like a few hours cooking (plus not forgetting those few hours of shopping and travelling before this), we did the dishes, sat for like 15 mins and headed straight back out. Tesco Extra at midnight~!! We needed supplies. Evidence to show my mom that I did go to Tesco (: Had to walk by my place to drop off my stuff from the first shop and on our way out, it started to snow... (:

We kinda walked to Tesco last night.. had to walk off that dinner... *bloated*

by the time we got there, we all had red cheeks, nose, ear haha.. my lousy cam cant seem to get that but we were a bunch of rosy ppl (:

While waiting for our taxi to take us home.. no way were we able to carry what we bought haha.. not shopped for god knows how long.. and that includes Damus and Angel !! haha... I pao to u guys first... (:

It was still snowing by then... it was I think about 2 am in the morning by then (: crazy shoppers.

*tired and half asleep by the end of the whole thing..

there are a few more pictures and a video haha.. got to wait for them to send it over though.. bet they are all still fast asleep.. Ive got a lab report to worry abt so not fun ):

Well Im well stocked for the exam period. I think I am. (:

Library... meet your new best friend.. ME~!!! (:

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"Cherish"

To treat with affection and tenderness.

To hold dear.

To keep fondly in mind.

There are so many things in life we hardly cherish... We take for granted. I know I have. Ive been lucky enough to have a great family that always supports me, amazing friends that will always be there for me. And I had someone who cherished me but yet.. I did not cherish him as much as I should have. He was standing right in front of me, asking to be loved, asking to be given back just as much as he gave me. But I never did.


I didn cherish him as much as he deserved. I have been thinking the last few days why I acted the way I did those couple of months. Why??? Cos I was stubborn?? Thick headed?? I wanted to be this strong independent person. To be there for anyone who needed me. But the one person that needed me the most, I wasnt there for him. I didn hear his cries, I never felt his pains. I always thought he was a strong person, who could do anything single-handedly. Who could do everything on his own. Who never needed me. But truth of the matter was he did need me. And I was never there.


I look back now and wonder, why didn I put him first when I had the chance. Cos he's first on my every list now. First person I think of when I get up and go to sleep, first person I talk abt each time, first everything. Its not that hard. I could drop everything just to talk to him for hours, minutes or even seconds. A simple Hi , anything, but I didn. I could wait hours just for him to wake up and be there when he does, but I didn. It was always something else, or someone else.


I now know how it feels to be screaming and have no one run to me. I know it feels to be pushed off the top of his list. To not be that person he wants to make happy. To not be the centre of his world. Im living through what he was going through those months.


So cherish what u all have. Cos if u have someone who really loves you, you are really lucky. Never take it for granted, cos only when you lose it will you realise you've lost the best thing that has happened to you. And getting it back might never happen. And thats the worse feeling in the world. So cherish who you have. Cos its not everyday someone can just come by and sweep you off your feet like he did.





I didn cherish this as much as I should have....

.....But I cherish what he gave me from it....

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....Please listen to the words....



*thank you SHu (:

I often catch myself constantly wondering how you are, sitting alone with my mind set so far, reminiscing about your smile, voice and touch, damn this life...I miss you so much*

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Well, its finally here, a new year. As everyone will know by now, Im still hanging onto someone like how any silly teenage girl does.

A Big Thank You to everyone who has given me advise, and nice words, and those in the same shoes as me, letting me know Im not alone. Am so grateful to you all.

My parents who have always been there, calling me everyday just to make sure Im okay and surviving to see the next day, sending me parcels to make me feel better....Thank you.

Out of everyone who Ive spoken to recently, someone has made a great impact on things for me. I know this might sound odd, but strangely she has.

Auntie Liz, thank you for saying what you said to me today. Ive been thinking a lot abt it and it makes a lot of sense to me. U dont judge me, or shove me aside cos Im no longer with Jon, but speak to me like how a friend would and that really touched me. Thank you for all the kind words and advise.

Ya I may not have moved on and still long for him. Yes I still do miss him a lot and love him with all my heart. I will always be there for him when he needs me and I'll run to where ever he wants me too. But Ive made life difficult for him and it was my greatest mistake. And Ive got to live with that. He has chosen to move on, and I cant change that. Will we ever get back together? Im gonna leave that to fate. Cos it was fate that brought us together once. My heart longs for him, but I cant force someone to be with me if he doesnt want to.

Im NOT gonna date anyone in the near future, cos firstly, my heart and mind has been filled by one person, just him alone. And also, I just wanna be a better person. Not the one I became the last few months, hurting the ppl Im close to. In time to come, I may have moved on or I may not. I may end up secretly loving him I can never have, watching him with someone else in future, who knows? He gave me many chances, and I blew them all. So its my own damn fault. But one thing I'll always be able to say is, "He's my first love and thats what he'll always be." Nothing is more special than that, and its something no one willbe able to replace. Like what Auntie Liz said, I have frightened him away and he has become weary of me. And thats just my fault. I know Ive changed since all this has happened. But he knows, I say it and do it for a while and change back reall quickly. So Im gonna stick to it this time and make it for life. And I have so far.

I dont know what 2008 has install for me. Ive always been dependent of someone. Im just gonna try to get through this year by myself. Summer is just a few months away and Im gonna book my flight back soon. That gives me something to look forward to. Even though going back to my favourite places wont feel the same anymore, but the memories I have that I take along have always been good memories.

I miss home, I miss my family, I miss harry, I miss my friends and definitely I miss him*

*Happy 2008 everyone*

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Who would have thought, the last day of the year, I'd be here in my room, alone. Thinking what could have been. Bringing in the new year, with a heavy heart. New year resolutions, Ive got tons, but it isnt of any use if I cant do it.

Ive taken things for granted, shoved you aside, not appreciated you and treasured you when I should. When it matters, I didn do it. But not when it matters most to me, you tell me its far too late. All Im asking is for a last chance. That last hope, to put that smile back on my face again. To build that fire that u once had for me. To bring back that spark. I know I have baggage. Lots of it. Who would wanna date someone who isnt there for him all the time. I wanna be there for you, do what I didn do when I should have done.

U use to call me the one. To me you still are. U were my first true love. U are my first true love. And thats why I wanna make it right again. I cant bring myself to love another, or let anyone else in. U were my world, and u still are.

I must have fallen head over heels for u along the way and at the same time, lost my way. Ive found my road and it always seems to lead straight back to you. You say its far too late, that you've truely moved on, Im just asking you to look into your heart and find me somewhere, somewhere that Im hiding cos Ive never left.

The last day of the year, the year where I had the best summer I could have ever imagined. The year where I started the year with you. And ended it without. The year where U've made me smile, laugh and cry. The year where Ive broken your heart and saw u walk away. The year where Im sitting here, asking the guy Im still in love with, to see if he could give me once last chance.

It has been a remarkable year. A roller-caster ride. I loved the beginning if the year. And I hated who I became at the end of it. I lost the one true thing that mattered to me. The reason why I wake up with a smile on my face and go to bed with sweet dreams. If only you could wipe that tear in the mornings and chase those bad dreams away. I'll forever be in debt to you.

Ive never stopped loving u, even when I was driving u away. I think abt that first kiss in July, it keeps playing in my head, and that last one in Sept. Up till now. I wish I could just walk away from this a stronger person.

But I cant seem to do it.

Cos all Im asking for is one last chance.

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"Feels Like Home"

Somethin' in your eyes, makes me wanna lose myself
Makes me wanna lose myself, in your arms
There's somethin' in your voice, makes my heart beat fast
Hope this feeling lasts, the rest of my life

If you knew how lonely my life has been
And how long I've been so alone
And if you knew how I wanted someone to come along
And change my life the way you've done

It feels like home to me, it feels like home to me
It feels like I'm all the way back where I come from
It feels like home to me, it feels like home to me
It feels like I'm all the way back where I belong

A window breaks, down a long, dark street
And a siren wails in the night
But I'm alright, 'cause I have you here with me
And I can almost see, through the dark there is light

Well, if you knew how much this moment means to me
And how long I've waited for your touch
And if you knew how happy you are making me
I never thought that I'd love anyone so much

It feels like home to me, it feels like home to me
It feels like I'm all the way the back where I come from
It feels like home to me, it feels like home to me
It feels like I'm all the way back where I belong
It feels like I'm all the way back where I belong

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Just spent the last couple of hours watching the most romantic film Ive ever watched... comfy under my blanket, with just the table light on and a box of tissues by my side...

The Notebook*

Been listening to songs from the film too... songs that Ive never heard before and some that are just oh too familiar (Daughtry) just catch u by surprise..

Have always been the hopless romantic kind... love romantic comedies, love films... seeing old grannies and grandads together hand in hand on the streets always makes me smile, thinking of different ways of surprising that special guy, buying silly things just to see them smile even though the silly things are so useless, making cakes shaped of a heart.. cheesy teenager stuff.. but when u think back, u cant help but smile abt it (:

*The best love is the kind that awakens the soul and makes us reach for more, that plants a fire in our hearts and brings peace to our minds. And that's what you've given me. That's what I'd hoped to give you forever.

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